Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were trust falling into bushes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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