So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize