please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
