If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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