does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
