i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
