as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
