Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
