3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
