Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Buhtt sex?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
