Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
