Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
