i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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