I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
