we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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