the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
