hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
