I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
