i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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