You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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