Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
