Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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