for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
