k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
