My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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