I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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