Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I deserve this hangover.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
