shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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