people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
