i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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