I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize