i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
