The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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