Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
