I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
