He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
