BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
