Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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