there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
