If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
