Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
