Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
