How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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