Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize