he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
