Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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