So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
