Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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