So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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