I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
