i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
