I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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