escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We left the knife in your bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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