I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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